Wealthy Elite announce plans to celebrate “business as usual”


Members of Ireland’s wealthy elite have announced plans to meet outside the Central Bank in Dublin’s Dame Street on Thursday 10th March at 6p.m. to celebrate the fact that it’s “business as usual now that the election is out of the way”.


We’re proud of the fact that Irish society and politics continues to promote wealth inequality,” said one of the event’s organisers who said he would prefer to remain anonymous. 


1% of the population own 34% of the wealth.  It’s the way things should be,” he continued.  It’s the natural order of things and if members of the poorer classes have to accept cuts to their social welfare payments or minimum wage to keep things so, then that’s a small price to pay.  Well at least it’s small for us!


Sure there’s no way those people could possibly survive on the miserable amount of money they get every week anyway.  So what difference can it make to them if they get even less,” he concluded.


We’ve enjoyed following the election circus,” said another of the 1%.  But when a new government is in place, we’ll still be pulling the strings.  It’s how it happens in Ireland, in Europe and elsewhere – malleable politicians obey the laws of The Market and the poor stump up to ensure the wealthy are protected. 


What do you see as being wrong with that?” he challenged. “Our wealth gives us power – It’s the Golden Rule.  Whoever has the gold makes the rules!


Organisers of the event say they have chosen to meet at the Central Bank because it is “symbolic of the great wealth divide – a bastion of no regulation capitalism”.


Some members of the ungrateful 99% moan about the fact that nearly half a million people are unemployed and about a thousand people a week are having to emigrate.  These people have even suggested that we – the wealthy – should feel guilty about our lavish lifestyles and should ‘be made to pay’,” laughed another anonymous member of the 1%.  These self-centred fools have even referred to the Central Bank as a crime scene, but it’s good to know that unless they get themselves organised to fight back against us and build a new type of society, we will continue to laugh all the way to the Bank!


It is believed that some members of the 99% may be considering turning up at the event.  Details of their plans are likely to be revealed nearer the time.


Statement ends


Event Details

Central Bank, Dame StreetDublin 2

Thursday 10th March



Note to editor/journalist:  Further details may be had by ringing Gregor Kerr on 086 1501151 or by logging onto www.onepercentnetwork.org